Last night at work, some derelict-looking, dirty skanky transient-looking hippie came into the pornstore on MY shift. He was all dirty and smelly, with the standard freaking backpack full of canned goods on, or whatever. He tried to sneak past me and go into the video arcade to masturbate or get his cock sucked, or whatever, without buying his THREE DOLLARS IN TOKENS AT THE COUNTER FIRST, ASSHOLE! Hahahaha! I’m a fucking rule enforcer, dude, so I chased that nasty hippy down, and said, “Hey, dude, you have to buy three dollars in tokens first before you can enter the video arcade.”
He looks at me all glazey –eyed, his nasty, nappy dirty dread-locked hair covering half his face as he says to me, “Well, I figure on staying the night here and don’t have any money.”
HAHAHA! You don’t have any money and you come into a porn-store? Hee! What a doofus! So, yeah, obviously this guy is a schizo, a retard, a lunatic, or whatever, and I could tell he was crazy so I was extra careful when I asked him to get the hell out.
Then he PULLS OUT THIS THIS FUCKING LONG-ASSED KNIFE and says- get this- “I’m going to cut you FROM THROAT TO GIZZARD!” Hahahahaha! Hee! What a dumb dollywood! Now I’ll admit, I was a bit scared, because this dude was fucking NUTS and he and I were both in this real narrow, dark hallway in the video arcade with no one else around. All I could think to say to him was, “Dude I don’t even fucking HAVE a gizzard! (do I?),” and then all the sudden I hear the “cowbell” ringing from the store’s front door, and, just by impulse, turn my back on this guy, and race to the counter on the sales floor to greet, yes, yet another sullen-faced masturbator who wants to buy tokens as I see this dirty nutty hippie walk out of the store with that long assed knife still in his hand, giving me this vicious look I thought about calling the cops in case he came back, but I have never called the cops on anyone in my life!! I freaking hate cops. Luckily, he never came back. But yeah, I’m freaking drunk, or whatever. BUT I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING GIZZARD!! HAHA! Do I?
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