The crowd cowers first in fear when I spring from my cage, growling and howling at the sun. They all back away as I take out my jar of nacho cheese sauce, reach into it and hold out my hand. A glob of the cheese sauce sits upon my palm and it is so exquisitely beautiful, so golden and delicious that it rivals the rays of the sun! When I start to smear the stuff on my armpits everyone begins to understand. They see that by spreading the cheese on my armpits I am in a sense protecting them from their own darkness. I cover up my armpits with the cheese sauce so you don't have to. Anyone who dares to eat this nacho cheese from my pits would surely slip into seizures of utmost ecstasy!